When starting to think a bit about what it means to be a woman, my thoughts started going in all directions. And settled on the limitations imposed on us by society; what we are supposed to act like, look like. I then started thinking about the type of woman I want to be and the type of women I look up to – who I have learned from, advice they have given me and also just things I admire that I picked up on.
Don’t apologise for shit.
One of the things that stand out to me, and that I have been thinking a lot about this year, is something I heard from a friend – it stuck by me and then I started noticing more and more conversations around it. It’s to stop saying sorry. I never realised the amount of times a day I say sorry to people for no reason. Passing people in a doorway, before asking someone something. Or sometimes I even apologise because I would contemplate why the person I had conflict with was more correct that I might be – which I believe is a good “trait” to have, seeing things from other people’s viewpoints, but only when it doesn’t diminish your own beliefs or opinion. We should say sorry when it’s necessary – and that’s it.
Putting yourself first.
“You need to be a whole person, before anything else will work.”
My friend once said this was the advice her mother gave her. At first I thought it was a typical bullshit line your mom gives you when she’s concerned about your drinking habits or sudden weight gain.
My belief was always that a good person puts others first – but I am starting to find it increasingly more important to put myself first. I’m still contemplating the “whole person” line, but this is what I took from it. This also ties in with not seeking validation from anyone. Personally, I have spent way too much time stressing about other people’s opinions or judgement – and it’s completely unnecessary.
Be strong without being hard.
Something I truly admire in women, and I look up to, is women who are strong, but kind. There’s a certain attractiveness that comes with being strong and confident, without having to be bitchy or condescending. Being yourself and accepting other people to be who they are and not having judgment towards them is very inspiring, and it’s something I try to remind myself of regularly.
What have you learned from other inspiring women?