Hanger is a real deal. Some would call it life-threatening. The irrational, violent, Incredible Hulk rage that reaches into your belly, pulls up the very last of your blood sugar, and lashes out, with a blind fury, at anything standing between you and potential nutritional relief.
So hi, I am Liezel, and I suffer from Hanger. I write it with a capital H because those who share my pain will know that when it hits, it takes over with a complete force like an alien inhabitant, and you become a new person. You become Hanger.
There have been several close calls. One night things got particularly bad. I had gone to the gym, and like a fool I didn’t pack that oh-so-necessary post-exercise pick me up. Rookie! But no, I think, I’m fine. We’ll go for dinner as soon as I’ve showered. This will be okay. Then, upon arriving home bad news hits. We need to be at a theatre performance in 30 minutes. But… but… what about??? how will I??? There’s no time to EAT!!!
It takes a few seconds for my head to fully spin out of control, for my rumbling stomach to gobble up the last of my sanity in a futile attempt at nursing the insatiable beast. But it is too late. Hanger has risen.
I begin pacing in circles around the small carpet in our living room, round and round, in a state of complete panic at the thought of sitting through two hours before being able to push Hanger back to its lair. I babble uncontrollably, trying to come up with a quick food solution that can be smashed into my face post haste. What do I want? WHAT DO I WANT???? I’m too hungry! I can’t think!! Round and round I go, pushing back tears, pulling out drawers as I go in the hopes of finding something, ANYTHING that can fill the gap.
That night was a brush with death. I remember the husband standing in one corner, shouting fast food suggestions in my direction until one finally stuck.
Since that day I have learned to keep the beast in check. The trick is to fill that gap. Don’t give it even a window to poke it’s nose through. That’s how you protect your loved ones.
Luckily, TUC Original Salted Biscuits are there to save you from the Hanger. They’re a pure indulgence of salty, flaky, buttery goodness that will lure you in for another, and perfect to smash into your face whenever the craving hits.
You’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it to save humanity.
*This post has been sponsored by TUC Original Salted Biscuits.